Reading...The Prodigal God by Tim Keller

So if you've read the last couple posts or so you know that there's been a lot of contemplating, thinking, searching,etc etc going on in my life. Well that season hasn't come to an end just yet(not that it every really will). The last couple months or so like I said in the last post I've found myself all over the map emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Many people many not see it from the outside but inside there is an ever flowing and raging river of questions, confusions, doubts, and the likes. My time spiritually has been what some or rather the christian culture would call dry. I find myself wanting to revolt at the use of the word or phrase. It seems so cliche and so well non-chalant(sp?) about the current state of my spirit. My Bible has been left and lost off and on during this time. To confess there where days I didn't really even think about it or know where it was. I actually went to a christian conference and absolutely cannot remember even thinking about it when packing. I don't say this to somehow brag or show off the state I am in. There is nothing glorious or desirable about it but this is where I find myself recently. Since returning to Italy I started reading the Prodigal God at the suggestion of an Italian friend. The first four chapters or so tell the story of the "man who had two sons" more commonly known as the parable of the prodigal son. Keller uses these chapters to show how actually the story is about two sons that are both lost and both refusing God. He draws out what each of these two types of people would look like spiritually-one the rebeller and the other obedient to the letter of the law. To very inadequately sum it up he's telling of how we're really trying to be self saviors and in control. Though one son is "good" and the other "bad" both are alienated from the father because of their wild actions and moral conformity. Read the book to really understand the hearts of both sons. Way to much for me to explain it all here and I know some may be thinking but the older son did everything right why was he left out in the cold in the end. So I say purchase a copy of the book and read on...

Moving along through most of this I was like ok ok got it. Yeah I see that tendency in me to be a pharisee law abider trying to earn my salvation but there's also a bit of the rebeller in me. Keller takes time to redefine sin for us as well just in case we don't quite have it down yet. "Elder brothers obey God to get things. They don't obey God to get God himself-in order to resemble him, know him, love him and delight him. So religious and moral people can be avoiding Jesus as Saviour and Lord as much as the younger brothers who say they don't believe in God and define right and wrong for themselves." (keller, 43) So in the end what God is saying is sin isn't just doing bad things or wrong things but rather putting ourselves in the place of God as Savior, Lord and Judge.

Then Chapter 5